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Blog: October 10, 2021

Fr. Jeff and others share reflections on the Sunday readings.

October 10, 2021

“‘You know the commandments: You shall not kill;

you shall not commit adultery; you shall not steal;

you shall not bear false witness; you shall not defraud;

honor your father and your mother.’

He replied and said to him,

‘Teacher, all of these I have observed from my youth.’

Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said to him,

‘You are lacking in one thing.

Go, sell what you have, and give to the poor

and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.’

At that statement his face fell,

and he went away sad, for he had many possessions.”


Before I sat down to write this, I got word that my mom’s brother, my uncle Bernie, passed away from covid (on Sunday, October 3). He had been in the hospital for about two weeks, most of that time on a ventilator. Until the end, only one person was allowed to visit him for one hour each day. My heart breaks for his wife, three children, and grandchildren, as well as, for my mom and her sister. Years ago, after he was diagnosed with lung cancer, I visited him and he was pretty set that he was going to refuse chemo and radiation. Then, his grandchildren stopped by, he changed his mind, and he beat the lung cancer. He loved his family and he loved life. One of my earliest memories is being the ring bearer at his wedding. He always made the time to be there for me and for family. I am deeply saddened by his death. May he rest eternally in God’s peace. 


In addition to everything with covid and my back surgery, the deaths of my cousin Nick, my stepdad Phil, and, now, my uncle Bernie have made this a difficult year. The grief is real and profound. I am grateful for your patience, support, and prayers during this time and I am sorry for any time I have not responded to a communication or been as present as I could have been. I appreciate the grace you have extended to me. For someone who turned 50 this year, as well, it may seem strange, but I feel like it has been a time of growth and the beginning of new life. Part of that comes from an affirmation and rededication of the priorities and direction of my life, along with some new ways of leaning into and living those out. It also comes from God. In the struggle, I have been found wanting. I am an imperfect earthen vessel and I need God. While I am grateful for the gifts, talents, and experiences that have made me who I am, I have more clearly come to recognize that all I have and am is not enough. I can’t make it without God. To be clear, that doesn’t make each day easier. In fact, it may call more out of me: more sacrifice, more suffering, more love. It does mean, however, each and every day, I am not alone. God is with me. The Eucharist sustains me. 


It draws me to surrender. As imperfect as I am, I both yearn for and resist surrender. I try to lay down my defenses and let God in. I offer my life, my joys, my sorrows, my sinfulness, my gifts, my virtues, everything, to God at each Mass. In spite of myself, sometimes I grab it back before I have left the doors of Church, but I try again next time. The suscipe prayer by St. Ignatius has been my companion for the past year. Maybe it could be one for you: Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will. All I have and call my own. You have given all to me. To you, Lord, I return it. Everything is yours; do with it what you will. Give me only your love and your grace, that is enough for me.