“We know that all things work for good for those who love God,

who are called according to his purpose.”

I recently had a meeting with a couple preparing for marriage. I have had a number of such meetings with couples changing all of their plans to keep their wedding date or postponing their wedding because of the pandemic. Many of them have recognized the sadness of what they have lost and the opportunities created as they plan something new and different. For this recent couple, all the details except the date have changed. Although they didn’t get there right away, they now see it as an opportunity to focus on what is really important to them and what their priorities truly are. Six months ago, they were fretting over the color of napkins at the reception and, now, they are focused on connections to loved ones, family history, and faith in their lives. Upbeat and positive, they see the changes as helping them in their own relationship and journey. “All it took was a pandemic” to reorient them to a deeper and more profound meaning and purpose. “All of this happened for a reason.”

Upon further reflection, it is clear that God did not determine the need in their lives and decide to send a worldwide pandemic so they could find their deeper meaning and purpose. That’s not close to proportional. The worldwide pandemic did, however, happen. It did significantly affect their plans. It changed everything for them. We can all relate: illness, addiction, job loss, accidents, conflict, failure, betrayal, divorce, and death. These things, even in normal times, can rock our worlds and upend all of our expectations. We become disoriented, denying reality, angry at the circumstances, and questioning, sometimes through sobs or screams, “Why!?!” In the midst of the turmoil, there’s usually not a good answer. To the pain, anything said seems trite. An oversimplification. Cruel. Everything happens for a reason. God doesn’t give us more than we can bear. They’re in a better place. None of it placates the pain. We want an answer, not a platitude. Actually, what we want is for the circumstance to never have happened in the first place. Give me back what has been lost!

We can get stuck there. Sometimes we never move past it. Bitterness, cynicism, wariness, isolation, hatred, depression, anxiety, or fear become our state in life. We are alone. The world keeps moving, when our world has ground to a halt. It is here that we experience crucifixion. Our hopes, dreams, expectations, and plans are nailed, bloodily, to a cross. This is the end. It is finished. Laid in a cold, dark tomb, we may stay there for a long time. But there is something more. A light may pierce the darkness, a stone be rolled away, or dawn may break. As a grace, acceptance comes. The pain isn’t taken away, but embraced. The cross of our crucifixion is revealed as the tree of life. We take up our cross, daily, and find we are on the road to living anew. There’s no easy way around it or retreat from it. We must be born again. Our question simply changes to, “OK, what now?” This is freedom, life, and a return to joy. It is resurrection. It is love manifest in our flesh. 

Everything does not happen for a reason, at least as a cause, not for a good and noble reason. God’s will be done, but in this life, it has to contend with evil, our own human wills (good or ill), the very laws of nature, and, even, chance. Yet, all that does happen works for good for those who love God. From death, there is new life. “From the cross to the grave, from the grave to the sky.” From a pandemic to true priorities. From an end to new possibilities. We trust God’s providence that brought us to this very moment, trial, challenge, difficulty, or pain. Not because this is the end, but because it is a new beginning. With God at our side, this is his promise, “I will be with you always, even to the end of the age.” I suppose, in the end, everything can happen for a reason. Not as a cause, but as a result. Drawing us into the Pascal Mystery, we find the core reality of love. This is not the end. There is something beyond. Love conquers death. This is new life. What now?